By Stephen Willis, M.MFT., LPC, LMFT
Dr. Linda Duncan is a Professor Emeritus at Tarleton State University. She found in her research that there are four times of the day when a few minutes of positive effort can influence a positive or negative outcome for the day. This is based on Chaos Theory, so let me first illustrate what that is.
Chaos Theory is a mathematical theory that has an application in many other areas of study. It is sometimes referred to as the “butterfly effect” (where theoretically a butterfly beating its wings in a box canyon in Mexico might eventually cause a tornado in Kansas. I like to illustrate it this way. I have heard that there is a county courthouse in Colorado that has its roof running along the Continental Divide, the land west of the courthouse slopes downward to the West, and the land east slopes to the East. So rain that falls on one side of the roof will eventually (theoretically) end up in a river that eventually gets to the Gulf of Mexico and into the Atlantic while rain that falls on the other side has the potential of ending up in the Pacific Ocean. A slight breeze from the East or the West can make a huge difference in outcome.
In the same way, three minutes thoughtfully spent in four crucial times of the day can make a huge difference in your own life and the lives of the others in your family. Here are those crucial times with some questions to consider:
1. Sleep to wakefulness
2. When people are leaving the house
3. Coming home
4. One person goes off to sleep
Putting more thought and effort into these four times a day will make a big difference in your family life. Let me offer one last suggestion that a friend who is very much into technology has as a rule in his family. Have a time when everyone (everyone) stops using their tech devices. Have a central charging place like the kitchen counter. Let all your friends know that this is the family rule (of course, people who are on call will have to have exceptions).