By Michelle Overman

If you have ever been to a wedding or some sort of anniversary celebration, you have probably have heard cliché-filled speeches about commitment, love, and marriage. The cynical parts of people tend to roll their eyes through the cheesiness. Some of that happens because if you know anything about love, relationships, and marriage, you know how difficult it can be. Marriage in itself is almost an oxymoron. How can something be so beautiful and yet so difficult all at the same time? It is difficult, which is why people tend to dislike the clichés. If you were to perform a wedding ceremony, what would you tell that couple? How could you be encouraging and celebratory while also providing real wisdom? Maybe the answer to this is more about telling someone how to build a healthy foundation. What does that look like? When thinking about seeking a healthy marriage, here are 7 tips to consider:

1. Laugh and delight in each other because it allows you to enjoy the simple things in life.
2. Cherish your marriage by making it a priority, by challenging each other, and helping each other grow.
3. Appreciate each other’s strengths and embrace each other’s flaws. It will bring a security to your marriage that comes when you can be both great and imperfect.
4. Strive to be better versions of yourselves. By looking inward first, you will positively impact what is outward.
5. Have the courage to say what you feel and dare to be vulnerable. With vulnerability comes a deeper connection that can only be replicated by being your true selves.
6. Because you are imperfect, fill in each other’s gaps, allowing yourselves to be uncomfortable. With discomfort comes change and growth.
7. Have a willingness to show each other sacrifice, grace, and humility. You both will make mistakes, so don’t be afraid to forgive or be forgiven.

In any relationship, people desire to experience safety, security, and connection. You want marriage to be a partnership where two people can bring out the best of each other. Ideally, marriage can become a place where you can be your true self and where you can grow together. People want a person to share their life with including their greatest joys and deepest fears. It often starts with making your marriage a priority which is not as easy as it seems. Protecting the relationship can be difficult with so many barriers and obstacles that can tear you down. The best you can do is to consistently work on your relationship even when everything is going well. Be proactive! Even through the most troubling times, if two people are willing to work on the relationship, it has the opportunity to get better. What is that silly saying about a fine wine only getting better with time? It can apply to here as well. Marriage is like a fine wine. It only gets better with time. The divorce rate would probably say otherwise. However, if you work towards having a healthy marriage, that statement can be true. If you and your partner are intentional and proactive within your marriage, your marriage will only get better with time.